How to stop the "roar" of tattling

     Tattling is intended to do harm to someone. 
It is typically not a source of useful information.
First if a child comes to you tattling on someone, say simply, calmly, but directly, something like this:
 "I don't like it when you talk like that.  I expect you to never talk like that again.  Billy, the next time you feel like saying things like that, what are your going to do?"  Then wait for an answer.  The answer should be something like, "I'm not going to do it.  I'm just not going to say anything."  If necessary, continue the questioning until you get the answer you want.  When you do get the acceptable answer, say:
    "That's correct, Billy.  Thank you. Good answer.  That's exactly what I expect.
    You just aren't going to do it.  You aren't going to say anything.  I'm really 
     proud of you for that!"
Once the expectations are clearly established, and you are certain that everyone understands them, it is time to discuss consequences.  Say words to this effect:
     I'm really pleased that you understand what to expect, and I am sure that you will try really hard to control yourself.  however, if you make a mistake and say things like that, I will say to you, Do not tell me that.  I do not want to hear it.  Because you lost control of yourself, you have lost the privilege of riding your bike for one day."


When children tattle, parents need to put that behavior on extinction, then teach and reinforce appropriate behavior.


Dr Glenn I. Latham, The Power of Positive Parenting